Killing Delay in Marriage

CHAPTER ONE

Chapter lead story

The state sports stadium seemed
magnetic to the socialites in the state that Saturday. All well dressed in
about the most expensive and classy outfits
they could lay their hands on, they drove into
the parking lot with their beautiful cars to
witness what would go down history lane as
one of the most expensive weddings of the
year. It was the solemnization between the
rich CEO and business magnate; Charles
1
Isong and successful banker, Iquo Amenam.
Before these esteemed guests, they
exchanged their vows and began a journey to
what they expected to be a blissful marriage.
They had met a year earlier in Charles'
company where Iquo went for her marketing
job. When Charles saw her, he had that
'butterfly-in-your-tummy' feeling. She had
the perfect smiles and her politeness and
courtesy was the best he had seen from a
young lady of her age. He knew it was not
just because she needed to have his money in
her bank; he had seen many bankers before
her but she was obviously different. He made
some enquiries, got to find out she was a
2
“church girl” and within months, he had
become a committed member of her church.
As expected, Iquo was happy, she had one of
her biggest “accounts” as a member of her
church and now, her friend; what she did not
expect was that he would want to marry her.
He is Charles Isong and he is one of the most
eligible bachelors in this part of the country.
He is rich, tall, dark, handsome and most of
all, he is nice to everyone around him. With
these reasons, coupled with the fact that he
was now a member of her church, she agreed
to marry him.
She could not think of any good reason why
she should refuse marrying him and besides,
3
she felt delay was dangerous considering the
many girls Charles had in his office as staff.
She agreed to marry him and went on to ask
God to support their union. Her pastor had
seen the brother's commitment to church
activities and made no objections to their
union. It seemed it had pleased God to settle
sister Iquo for her commitment to the work of
The Lord and the pastor was happy for her.
The question ignored – is the man a soul
cleansed believer?
Well, with all his enviable physical and
financial credentials, the pastor and the bride
seemed to ignore that part of the deal;
interestingly, that is the part that should have
4
come first on the check list.
It is now few months after the wedding,
about four precisely and Iquo is standing
before her pastor lamenting about her
ordeals in her new home – a home many
outsiders envy. What went wrong? How
could something so sweet turn so sour? One
would wonder how and why a person like
Iquo who has been in church and served so
faithfully could make a mistake about such a
lifelong commitment. How could Charles
who manages a stream of businesses make a
questionable decision in the most sensitive
and risk involved business of his life.
As she stands before the pastor who is still
5
trying to think of how to calm her down, she
remembers how she got entangled in a
relationship with Charles. She was young
and seriously searching; she had hit the dicey
age of twenty eight (28) and it was “time to
start getting very serious”. Not that she had
been joking, but the society she lives in seems
to be at peace with an unmarried lady till she
turns twenty-five and starts the journey to
thirty. That is the age where mothers start
getting concerned; they do not want to wait
till you get to the desperation age – 30 – so
they start the interesting mid-night sermons
on a woman's biological clock. Time was
running out and here came a handsome and
6
eligible bachelor, Charles. When she
considered his success in business, she felt
she could trust his choice in marriage and she
could not help thinking that Charles trusted
her decision to marry him because she was a
long-standing believer. Iquo had been lost in
the excitement of being proposed to by 'a
whole Charles Isong'; she was so lost that she
did not ask God what to do and whether or
not she should accept the marriage proposal.
She assumed that Charles was an answer to
her prayers sent from God. In fact, as far as
she was concerned, Charles' proposal was a
miracle.
Their trust in each other's decision making
7
seemed to fail the test when they got married.
The difference in values and lifestyle and
some shocking character traits threatened
the foundation of her marriage.
In the course of her wedding preparations,
she had drifted far from God and could no
longer sense His presence. This worsened
after the wedding; things went so bad that
she had difficulties remembering when last
she had a good personal fellowship with
God. Many thoughts went through her mind
and she realized how far she had gone from
God; this “journey away” began from the
time she received that proposal. Realizing
where her problem started, she looked at the
8
pastor who just stared at her. She seemed to
find all the answers in a flash and that was
what it was, a flash.
Iquo caught up with her head which had
tilted to the left so far that it seemed to have
reached its limit. As she opened her eyes and
woke up from the short doze that she got lost
in, she realized she was still kneeling by her
bedside, her hands now loosely holding on to
her Bible. She looked at her fingers and found
herself still very single, she raised her head
and found out she was in the parlor of her one
bedroom flat. It was all a dream.
As she pondered on the dream, The Holy
Spirit ministered to her heart that her
9
unstable spiritual foundation is the reason
for her prolonged spinsterhood and
improvement in that area would lead to her
marital settlement.
Genuinely interested in getting out of
spinsterhood, Iquo got ready for church
service determined to seek counsel on how
she could build her spiritual life. She met her
pastor in a counseling session; the next few
pages will take you through the advice Iquo
got from her pastor.